why do people have to hurt each other

You just waltzed back in my life like you deserved to be here or something. You could have come back anytime, anytime before now. But you waited and waited. And you know what? It's too late. I kept waiting for you to come back, and you didn't. You never came back, until now. Anytime before now I would have welcomed you back with open arms. But you're too late this time. I gave you more than enough chances to make things right and you didn't. I opened myself up to get cut wide open. I finally moved on. I'm happy and I don't need you anymore. That's something I never though I'd say. I'm sorry if I'm not ready to throw all of that away to let you back in and make me look like a fool when you screw me over. Again. I cant put myself through that again. You cant erase the past. The way we are now, is not my fault. I didn't cheat, lie, or push you away. You did this to yourself. I'm sorry if you cant find anyone who amounts to me, which you probably won't, but it's your own doing. I'm not saying this out of spite or pity or anger even. I'm saying this because I know that no girl will ever amount to what I was for you, what you were for me. No girl will ever connect and feel for you the way I did. Maybe that same will go for me. There's never going to be another guy that is just like you, who loved me like you did. But I'm ready to move on, to experience what else is out there. I cant put myself through what you did to me again. I need change. If we're meant to be, we'll find each other again one day and maybe I'm fall madly in love with you again, just like before. If not, I really hope you find happiness in the decisions you made, because God knows I would never have chosen this for us. But I also cant fix what you created, and I don't want to anymore.

Take care of yourself.

As you know, I'm not good at goodbyes but I guess that's what this is,
a real one this time, cause as much as I thought I wanted us to be together,
I guess what I want more is to be one of those people who lives every moment of their life without indecision and without regrets,
someone who dares to disturb the universe without a thought to the consequences, and you're not one of those people,
at least not yet.
Maybe you'll prove me wrong about that one day, hope you do, but who knows?
Maybe people can't change.
Maybe we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes over & over again, no matter how hard we try.
I always hope for a happy ending, how crazy is that?!
Take care of yourself.

one tree hill

Lucas: I never meant to hurt you.
Brooke: That doesn’t really matter, Lucas, because in the end it all hurts just the same.

why do we keep running back.

We run back to each other when it’s convenient.
We know that in the end, we’re meant for each other but not for right now.
So we play these games, act like we’re okay when one of us has someone else.
When in reality it tears us apart to know that we can be happy with someone else.
But it’s that slight hope that we will end up together that always keeps us running back for more.

you don't want to let him go.

Sometimes someone comes into your life that changes everything.
Raises your standards, makes you laugh, & makes you feel like you.
There's something about him that you can't put into words, & even though you're not even with him, you don't want to let him go.

I'm sorry I love you the way I do.

Sorry that we've taken for granted the love we shared;
Sorry for the waiting, Sorry to waste your time,
Sorry if I'm not worth it, you don't have to me mine;
Sorry for mistaking something I thought was true,
Sorry if you don't understand why I do what I do;
Sorry for my feelings as if they're not enough,
Sorry if we can't work through all this stuff;
Sorry if I'm cramping your lifestyle or getting in your way,
Sorry if I don't say the things you want me to say;
Sorry if I don't measure up to what you want me to be,
Sorry I can't be enough to make you just want me;
Sorry for apologising, but I don't know what else to do,
Sorry if my dreams only consist of me and you;
Sorry I ever met you, Sorry I'm not enough for you,
I'm Sorry I love you the way I do.

You're not sure that you love me but you're not sure enough to let me go.

And that guy, well, I'll never forget him.

I know a lot of people know who he is, but I also know there are not that many who got to see the side of the guy that I did.
And that guy, well, I'll never forget him.
Not ever.
I've learned so much about life and emotion from knowing him and I wouldn't change a thing about it, including the ending.
Your heart needs to go through some bumps like these once in a while.
Besides, he has made a monumental impact on me and on my life in these past few years.
I know no matter how many years go by; my stomach will always do a little flip whenever I see that face.

This isn’t goodbye forever, it’s goodbye for now.

You meant the world to me, even if I didn’t mean the world to you.
You taught me so much, and I just want you to know, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me in the past years.
You gave me something to be happy about.
You gave me the meaning of what it’s like to know that someone actually cares.
You truly are an amazing person and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
I know things aren’t easy between us right now, but I hope someday soon, we can go back to how we used to be.
But no matter what, don’t ever forget than I am always here for you when you need someone, regardless of what the situation is.
You were there for me, so I’m going to be there for you.
This isn’t goodbye forever, it’s goodbye for now.

being strong would mean letting go...

Nothing is the same anymore.
The looks aren't the same; the bond is not the same.
Nothing is the same.
I know we've fought to stay strong for a while, but sometimes I feel that being strong would mean letting go.
So maybe one day, we won't pretend anymore.
So maybe one day, it will be okay again.
That’s all I want.
I don't care what it takes;
I want to be okay again.

Come on don't leave me like this -

i can’t just sit here

i can’t just sit here and wait for something that’s probably never going to happen.
but yet i still find myself holding on to faith and hope.

i 'love' technology and its inability to convey tone. it's ability to misconvey your intentions. what happened to face to face conversations.

boys are scum.

Riley Keough

Her hair is absolutely amazing.

post fifteen things about yourself

1. I have a thing for odd numbers, I can't stand them.
2. I own a snake as a pet, that is not normal.
3. I feel I will never be able to listen to enough music, there is so much, too much, it is impossible to do so.
4. I love genuine people. I'm over maintaining fake friendships.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.

this is really hard, i will keep adding..

Leave the world a bit better than when you got here.

Make Someone's Day

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Service

Even if it's a little thing, do something for those who need help, something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it.

Seek adventure

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.

or is it comfort settling in.

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part..
Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness; it is not excitement, it’s not the desire to mate every second of the day, not lying awake at night imagining him kissing every part of your body.
That is just being in love, which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Without, life would be boring.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Embrace change:

Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown.

Never miss an opportunity to make others happy

Don't forget me or who you are.

We make plans to, kiss the sun at night.

The Wolves

Someday my pain, someday my pain

Will mark you

Harness your blame, harness your blame

And walk through



With the wild wolves around you

In the morning, I'll call you

Send it farther on



Solace my game, solace my game

It stars you

Swing wide your crane, swing wide your crane

And run me through



And the story's all over you

In the morning i'll call you

Can't you find a clue when your eyes are all painted Sinatra blue



What might have been lost -

Don't bother me

It's preferable to fall off a bridge.

You really don't realise how much this is killing me, everything you do, say, don't do, don't say.
I hate how much easier you're finding all of this.

I'm sorry to the rest of you who have to read this but this is where I put my thoughts when my head's filled and can no longer think with these taking up space.
But why my thoughts are typed here is because people don't want to hear this. People can only listen to someones feelings and problems for so long before they've had enough, so to save whom ever from that, that is the reason I type.
But why on here, such a potentially public place? It is because if someone were to ask about this particular topic, that is what I would tell them. I don't write every single feeling and the extent but mostly, yes I do but only when I cannot take the feelings any longer. Anyways this is the end of this rant, I shall continue with my initial one.

One minute I miss you but I don't want to because it seems like the feeling is not reciprocated. So I need to get over this, move on and somehow stop letting it consume my thoughts and feelings.
But however it may seem just know I did, do, still care.

This flirtatious line.

I hate how easy it is to confuse being shy and a snob..
It's a fine line at times but so often it can be mistaken.
I know I've assumed someone to be snobby when in fact they're just a shy person and visa versa.
I also know I've come across snobby when I have been a little out of my comfort zone and retracted my normally (at times) outgoing personality but that is more and more not the case..

Formalities...

L - R
Naomi & myself

Awesome Foursome

L - R
Myself. Sam. Corey. Sofia.

One Week

One week to the day I begin HSC. Friday October 15..
The HSC, these exams that apparently hold my future. My whole future in those lined sheets of paper. It's the end and the beginning.
As much as every inch of my body is dreading the hours i will spend sitting at a desk that is too small, in an uncomfortable plastic chair it will bring me closer to finishing school, officially, forever. As much as i want to get out that place i will miss it, so very much.
I've gone to school for 13 years of my 17 years of life. That's more than half, well more than half.
Everything's changing right now it's hard to find something constant, something unchanging in my life and those things that are, i'm holding onto dearly...

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

Next DIY

Ripped Jeans.
I'm not just ripping any jeans though. I'm ripping purple jeans.
Siiiick.
I thought so too.

Katy Perry

is there honestly a hair colour she couldn't pull off. she looks amazing no matter what. purple hair, blue hair she is ridiculously pretty.

I love you more than slurpees

I love you more than slurpees.
and that's really saying some thing..
for those of you that know me, that is a big deal.
but the thing is, you will probably never see this..

how does one measure their attractiveness...

by comparing themselves to their friends, boyfriends, girlfriends..
this can sometimes give you some indication but not always.
i'm sure you've all seen those couples where one is a zillion times more attractive than their boy/girlfriend.. personality does count for something. but we still all wonder how they ended up together.
but what if your the pity friend. the one people feel sorry for and so consequently hang out with you. surely that makes measurements hard.
surely you can't measure it by merely looking in the mirror because what reflects back and what people see can sometimes be so different. we all know those people that think they're definitely much hotter than they really are or those humble individuals that don't realise how attractive they are..
i'm almost positive there is no answer to this thought but it crossed my mind today..

September

a-wonder.

mm yes please.

to be this tan would be 'tastic

I love my obsession for photobooths.

You were better to the ones that were worse for you. And worse to the one that was better for you.

This is a little bit sad.

He loved me. I do not doubt that. In hindsight, I do not believe that I loved him: I simply felt his love for me, burning and all-consuming, and reflected it back, as the cold light of the moon reflects the light of the sun. I did not know that, at the time. I thought I loved him.

I'm sick

I am so sick.
Not the 'ill' sick
or 'fully hectic' sick
but a more in between.. I surprise myself sometimes.

The most beautiful site.